Despite all the sexual content that surrounds us on a daily basis, we find it surprisingly difficult to talk about sex. It’s easy to make lewd jokes and discuss the alleged escapades of celebrities, politicians, movie stars, and even our loud neighbours, but many of us find it awkward to dissect our own sex lives, especially with one another.
Unfortunately, it’s this lack of communication that compounds the problem, so when things become untenable in the bedroom, it may be time to bring in some outside help. Professional help comes in two forms – therapeutic and medicinal. Sometimes, talking to a sex therapist can resolve any challenges you may be facing. Other times, you might need a doctor.
Lack of interest
When you’ve been together for a while, sex can become dull and monotonous. And if you’re bored in bed, you might not want to sleep together anymore. Every couple has slow periods, but if you find that you consistently have no sexual interest in your partner, it may be a sign of a deeper problem that needs exploring.
Sometimes this happens with single people too. If you’re usually active and your libido suddenly drops, it could be a hormonal issue, or you may be suffering from undiagnosed anxiety, depression, or some other issue. Keep an eye on your sex drive, and if it suddenly changes, look into it.
Divergent sex drives
In the same way, a sudden spike in your sex drive might be a sign of a problem. Many bipolar patients experience extreme sexual urges during their manic phases, so they, in particular, need to monitor themselves. Patients with ‘excessive’ sex drives might also be suffering from undiagnosed sexual addiction.
An issue that can cause a problem is when your desire for sex is significantly higher or lower than your partner’s. This can build resentment, since one partner will always feel harassed while the other will feel unfulfilled, and this can spill into other areas of your relationship. Speaking to a professional can train you to reach a healthy compromise.
Difficulty reaching orgasm
While we hear a lot about sex in our teens, nobody ever tells us that orgasm is a learned skill, both for men and women. Usually, men struggle to bring their partners to orgasm, but there’s a small percentage of men who are unable to reach their climaxes. This could be mistaken for intense stamina and can be a bonus for their partners, but it frustrates men.
This inability to reach orgasm can make sex feel like an uninspiring chore. On the other hand, many women can’t orgasm because they are self-conscious or unfamiliar with their sensual needs. Women need more time to climax. Sometimes it’s an issue of men not lasting long enough. Other times, it’s driven by psychological pressure. A professional might help.
Pain during sex for women
When intercourse is had in a safe, healthy way, it shouldn’t hurt. However, sex can be painful for both men and women if they are undergoing some kind of problem. For women, sex can be painful due to psychological issues like fear, body image insecurities, or trauma. It can make their all their muscles tighten, including their vaginal ones.
Pain can also be caused by vaginal dryness. This happens if the woman isn’t aroused enough, or if she’s on medication. Hormones can influence this too. Other causes are vaginal infections or pelvic issues like endometriosis. Fibroids and constipation can cause painful sex as well, so talk to a professional to find the cause and correct it.
Pain during sex for men
If a woman experiences pain during sex, her partner might help by taking it slow and offering more foreplay, but for men, it’s a little more complicated. Painful sex can be equally psychological in men. They might not admit it, but they are just as likely to respond to trauma by experiencing psychosomatic pain in their penises.
Medical reasons for pain can include thrush infections, which can affect men as well as women. If a man gets aroused but doesn’t’t ejaculate, his testicles may swell, causing pain. Inflamed prostates can also cause pain, as can tight or torn foreskins. Consulting a doctor can identify the cause and offer a solution.
The most common reason why couples consult a doctor is that they’d like the man to last longer in bed. Premature ejaculation affects his esteem and diminishes both their levels of satisfaction. There are multiple modern remedies for this issue, and they range from improved bedroom technique to oral strips, gels, and creams.
Sometimes, a man ejaculates early because of psychological matters like stress or discomfort. It might also be an unconscious habit that he unwittingly acquired in his teen years. Talking to a professional will help him identify the problem so that he can fix it, which will be beneficial for both him and his partner.